God knows what happened to us. I have absolutely no idea why or when did we just stop talking. Hours in office become unbearing. I'm dread to go work now- partly because I have no one to talk to, partly because of the stress I get from work. If it isn't for money and responsibility, I would have just quit. Sigh. I am actually thinking of quitting in march, when I'm done with the profit and loss statement and balance sheet for the company. I am grasping for space. I am grasping for ... Perhaps an answer or a stop to all these nonsense I am facing. Did I do anything wrong? Seriously.... Beat me :-(

I shall not be selfish; i am just praying for scholarship and better SAT scores now. Getting accepted into a good art institute is one thing. Funding for my studies is another. please. A more all-rounded education for me please. I am still quite lost and don't really know what to do w my life. I was actually thinking that maybe that's why people turn to face god. Turn to face him to seek for enlightenment and miracle.

[praying]

Make us history. Turn everything into memories. A part of me feels that way. I donoo if I should continue pinning my hope high up; hoping that he would start a conversation just like last time. Today will be judgement day. If nothing improves, I will just give up. 彻底死心