Untitled
Friday, February 3, 2012
My life is in a mess now. I think? That explains the title for this post; Untitled.
So I just bought a new sketchbook and oil canvas paper at Artfriend today. I need to make full use of my life and time. I need to start writing and reading, more. I have something exciting to do but I have yet to have a concrete plan for that. I guess I will be spending some time alone tomorrow till Sunday doing my portfolio and drafting out plans for my future.
I don't know why but it seems that everyone, my secondary school friends especially, are drifting away from me. Next thursday is Jia Zhen's birthday and I wonder if anyone's going to plan her birthday surprise with me or am I going to do it alone? ... In fact, I think I might be the only person celebrating with her. Oh well, if that's that, I guess I won't really mind much since I'm going overseas this year so less responsibilities for me from next year onwards. Been involved in planning for everyone's birthday for years. Some just refused to take initiative. I really detest these 'friends' of mine. :(
People don't have time for me. They have time for their new friends. I don't know why. I miss them so badly. I guess I sound a little childish and selfish here but this is so true.
Sometimes (most of the time) I just want to spend my day alone, thinking about my life etc. I don't exactly like to socialize with people. I find myself doing that under unfavorable circumstances, like working, gathering.. However, I thought I enjoyed myself whenever I was with my friends. I'm weird.
Maybe I just don't like my JC friends? I mean, I always feel like I have to do or say something to entertain them. I feel that they judge me as the person who appears in front of them. I like to see my friend laugh. But sometimes it just so tiring. (but it worths it after all)
I type like a 8-year-old child and this is going nowhere. Shall stop here. Welcome to my first blog post after so many years of hibernating. :)
Changed on the 12th of December 2008